“The miracle of gratitude is that it shifts your perception to such an extent that it changes the world you see” – Dr. Robert Holden
I got 99 problems, but a BARBER ain’t one!
So…..I was referred to a barber by a friend of mine. He said “dude is a cat*, but he’ll cut you right”. I started laughing and said ok, I’ll try him out.
When I arrived at the location, I walked into a beauty shop first, and his barbering area was in the rear. Being in an environment that had an equal amount of men and women made me feel a little more at ease. He was running late and had people waiting, so I made a mental note that he may have an issue with being on time. He was very personable and asked me a lot of questions that made me feel relaxed, and he put the cape around me and went to work. I’m sitting there with a few butterflies in my stomach as my hair hit the floor, but excited to see the outcome. As I turned around and faced the mirror, I was Shocked. It was low…. Real low… I didn’t know if I liked it or not, but I knew he gave me a great cut. It was feminine, even, and cut well. After leaving the shop, I went to my sister, and she dyed it brown (I had too many natural highlights aka grey hairs), and after it was dyed, I fell in love with my hair. I felt empowered! Cinderella had finally found her slipper.
It can be difficult being a woman with short hair, and to not have people cut it properly can really feel devastating. It messes with your self-esteem.
Since my first haircut, I’ve gone back on three separate occasions. Honestly he is the best barber, but boy can he tell a story, and he’s never on time, but hey, I look great!
Cat* – a person who is always talking, but never says anything with substance. Not trustworthy.
My handsome, younger co-worker came into the office on a Friday and said he was going to get his haircut downstairs, and I was shocked. I’m like where? At Wingtip? He laughed and said yes! He said that their barber does a great job and extended a discount to him. I said oh, wow, that’s wassup. So I sashayed my way down there and asked the barber if he could squeeze me in. He said “of course”. The facility is very fancy, the ambiance is amazing, and there is only one person in the space at a time! The barber is handsome and personable. We talked the entire time, laughing and talking like we’d known each other for years! He made me feel very comfortable and gave me a run-down of his experience. I was impressed with his resume and proud of his accomplishments though we’d just met.
The shop is downstairs from my office, and I thought I had finally found my barber… Until I was done getting my haircut and looked in the mirror. I thought to myself why didn’t he line up the sides of my hair. From the front you can’t even tell, I had had a haircut. The cut itself was even, and the back was perfect. The only thing is, when I look in the mirror, I see the front, and if that is not cute, then we have a problem.
After experiencing this, I thought to myself, maybe I should give him a second chance. With all of my barbering experiences, I’ve only got cut by each barber 1 time. I’ve never given them an opportunity to redeem themselves or to make a better impression, I always axe them after my first encounter. I also thought that maybe I should have better direction. Maybe my pictures aren’t clear enough, maybe it’s me.
Until I found Jay!
So, I’ve been asking people about barbers, and it seems as if no one in my immediate circle goes to a barber on a consistent basis. A co-worker of mine referred his father to me, but when I called him he seemed a bit aggressive. After our first conversation, I thought to myself I’ll pass.
I didn’t want to drive all the way to Richmond to see my previous barber, so I decided to just test one out. I found a small barbershop near my house. I wanted my hair cut on a Thursday, so I went in on Wednesday to check out the place. The place was packed and everyone had a client in their chair but the guy in the front. (note: I would not take the barber in the front of the shop with no clients.) As soon as I walked in, everyone smiled, greeted me and made me feel welcomed. I just walked to the man who I seemed to have made eye contact with first, and his name was ED. I looked a mess to in my gym clothes and feeling tired from my workout. He first tried to have me sit in the barber’s chair that I was avoiding and I said no. He then asked me when I wanted my haircut, and to take his number down and let him know when I wanted to come in.
As soon as I got home I sent him a very professional text letting him know the date and time I wanted my hair cut. He proceeded to ask me “what’s up with the purple hair”, first off bra, that’s not good customer service, but my co-worker said I can’t be sensitive with this hair cut…LOL, so I let it slide. I went and got my hair cut the next day, and was dolled up. I didn’t want to go in looking a mess two days in a row with all these handsome men around….LOL. I was turned off by the smoking section in the front…..(gross)….I can’t stand people smoking in public places, but I was there so I went in. I sat in his chair and he was very nice and pleasant. He asked me a few questions about what I wanted and a few questions about life while other barbers chimed in. It was cool.
Once he was done, I was satisfied. Not excited, but not disappointed. After getting home, I started getting all these text messages from him. He felt the need to tell me how great I looked without make-up, but how I know how to not do too much with the makeup. He even requested I send him pictures of myself after I sponge roll my hair. I was like damn dude. Did you really just try and push up on me. I just want to get a good haircut and mind my business. Now I’m scared to tell him I’m not interested, because I don’t want him to mess up my hair, but I don’t want him to think that he has action at anything with me. The struggle is real……I’m going to continue my search in finding a good barber in the Bay.
On Sunday of this past week, I had the pleasure of having brunch with two really amazing women! Both of whom inspire me! We decided to have brunch at one of our favorite spots, PARADISO, and they NEVER disappoint. The service was A-1, the food was great, and the overall experience was great!
I arrived first and walked-in to a host with a big smile and welcoming attitude. I let her know, we would be a party of 3 and what table we preferred. She reserved our table, and I went outside to soak up the sun.
After my girl C-C arrived, we went and sat down and began to chat and wait for the third member of our party. As soon as we got comfortable the waitress was there asking us for our drink order, we ordered tea, she brought the tea and water.
After the third member of our party arrived, we ordered our brunch and an appetizer to share. For our appetizer we shared the DUNGENSS CRAB & AVOCADO, it is the best thing on EARTH. The flavors just dance in your mouth, it’s truly superb. Anyone who has ever been to Paradiso has tried this dish. It is unique to their restaurant and its fresh and healthy.
My main course was the DUNGENESS CRAB OMELET with egg whites, sub the potatoes for fruit. I enjoyed my entree, but it was not as flavorful as the appetizer.
We sat, talked, laughed, sipped, bounced business ideas off of each other, gave relationship advice, and enjoyed our time with each other. I appreciate having genuine relationships with intelligent, ambitious, people who like to have fun with its time, and get stuff done when its time. I’m very grateful that the universe has brought these two into my life.
Every time I run into a person that knows me, they gasp …LOL. They are like “OMG you cut your hair”. Not only did I cut off all of my hair, but I went natural and dyed my hair purple. I was the person who always had to be at the hair salon to make sure my hair was on point. Never wanted a strand to be out of place. I’ve done everything with my hair, except wearing it how my creator created it. I’ve worn short straight styles, long weaves, short weaves, press and curls, corn rows, singles, so on and so forth.
In December of 2014 I had extensions put in by celebrity stylist Tamara NeCole also known as #SaddityHair. This was the biggest hair mistake of my life. When I took my extensions out February 14, 2015, I had 35% hair loss in the middle of my head. It was a huge bald spot. I was literally in tears from this experience. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know if the damage was permanent, if it was repairable, I didn’t know what to do, but I was devastated. I reached out to her, and she apologized and sent me a month’s supply of hair vitamins, and growth oil, but dragged her feet with sending the package. I felt like her and her staff could have had better customer service considering she pulled out a ton of my hair. After that, I worked with my natural hair stylist in the Bay Area to grow my hair back. I vowed that once/if my hair grew back in, I was cutting it off and going natural. No more pulling and struggling to do unnecessary things to my hair. No more feeling like I have to conform to society’s expectation of beauty.
On Friday June 12, 2015, my hair had grown in where the damage occurred, no more bald spots. I felt so relieved and one week later on June 24, 2015 I went to a barber and cut everything off. I had my natural Hair stylist color it to give it an edge.
I fell in love. I feel free, freer than I have ever felt. I was so unhappy and insecure with my hair, especially after the damage occurred, and NOW I have taken my happiness back. Cutting my hair felt more emotional & spiritual than physical. With every strand being cut was negative thoughts and/or feelings leaving my body.
Today I walk in my journey of life with power, strength, love, and JOY!