bernita dillard

HerFancy30thBDAY

Published on December 24, 2016 by B-Fancy2 Comments

On December 17, 2016, I turned 30 years old. I have never felt so fulfilled in all of my life. I am a woman who experienced pain, embarrassment, love, loss, death, life, excitement, and accomplishment in my 20’s. I’m excited to close the door to the 20th chapter of my life, and open the door to Chapter 30!

I look forward to seeing my hard work pay off in my 30’s. I’m seeing it now in the first week! I look forward to being more carefree and enjoying every single moment.

I look forward to saying F the stretch marks, and so what if I’m squeezing into my size 6 jeans. Knowing next week, they may be an 8.

I look forward to traveling and seeing the world with my beautiful baby girl!

My 20’s taught me:

1. Strive for Greatness.
2. Stay humble.
3. Give Back.
4. Love yourself.
5. Be relentless about making your dreams a reality.
6. Knowing that what is meant to be will be.
7. Hard work pays off.
8. Be confident.
9. Know your worth.
10. F* your pride.
11. Do what makes you happy.
12. Self-Care is a must.
13. Work-Out.
14. Be kind to others.
15. Allow people to be who they are.
16. Your circle reflects you.
17. Eliminate toxic people from your life.
18. If you focus on you, you won’t see where others are lacking.
19. Have integrity.
20. TRAVEL! – See the world.
21. Use spellcheck.
22. Show appreciation.
23. Be Grateful.
24. Think before you speak.
25. Help heal and not tear down.
26. Write your goals on paper.
27. Be honest and have tact.
28. Privacy is important.
29. Be organized.
30. Slay.

Young People…. STOP F*ing up your life.

Published on January 26, 2016January 26, 2016 by B-FancyLeave a comment

There is a young woman who is 23 years old. I’ve known her all of her life. Her sister is one of my Best Friends, and our families have been close since before I was born.

This young sista is beautiful and smart (or so I thought). She has not always made the right decisions but really who has? From the outside looking in, I thought she was trying. She had gone out of state for college, but a series of poor decisions brought her home to her sister’s couch without a degree. She ended up finding retail employment for about $12.00 per hour.

Me being the problem-solving diva that I am, I reached out to her to let her know about a free training program in her field of interest that could potentially double her income. This training program would be free to her for 5 to 6 hours a day for 16 weeks. Previous graduates of this program are making between $20.00 to $40.00 per hour.

She led me to believe she was really interested in this opportunity. She attended the orientation, completed the test, and participated in 3 interviews, just to not show up on the first day of class.

This is a program that had over 100 applicants for 23 spaces. I spoke to the instructor and the counselors to ensure she got into this cohort. I feel like she slapped me in the face and F*d off an opportunity to change her life.

She’s standing still right now, with no direction as to where her life is going. She’s not thinking about her future and is consumed with getting her nails done and ordering the best hair for her sew-in. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s nothing wrong with getting your hair and nails done, but that can’t be the purpose of your life.

I just want to yell, what the hell is wrong with you? You’re not living up to your potential and as an adult, it’s no ones fault but your own. Be accountable, be a woman of your word, and don’t drag other people down with you. I didn’t have to put my name on the line for you, I didn’t have to extend the olive branch to give you a life-changing opportunity, but I did because I love you, I respect you, and I know you could have a bright future if you apply yourself and commit to something.

What’s, even more, sad is the lack of accountability and the need to play the blame game instead of saying I F*d up. I took it back to our Shule Mandela Academy days and recited a portion of a pledge we recited daily that stated: “All learning is not fun, some learning is tedious, but we cannot be black and proud, and all so be dumb, therefore we must learn, we are the next generation.” I get crickets from her, so I’m done. I can no longer help people that don’t want to help themselves.

Fortunately, I don’t mind helping another young sista, I just can’t help her.

Call to Action: Young People, take control of your life and Live life to it’s fullest potential because we only get one. Take advantage of every opportunity and go for all of your dreams!

Teach.Inspire.Motivate.Empower

No Discounts in 2016

Published on January 2, 2016January 2, 2016 by B-Fancy4 Comments

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Often times with relationships, all relationships including friendships, romantic relationships, and relationships with family, we let other people treat us in a manner that doesn’t make us feel good. We allow them to lie to us (discount), make fools of us (discount), and not be people of their word (discount). When we allow people to treat us in this manner, we feel hurt, we feel unworthy, and we feel insignificant. When we let people do this to us time and time again, we are giving them discounts, which show how we feel about ourselves as oppose to how another person feels about us. When you know your value, you don’t give discounts.

When you think of High-end Luxury brands, you’ll notice that they don’t discount their prices, because they know their worth, and understand that people, who value their product, will pay what is asked. We need to know our worth, and when people don’t value and/or appreciate us, we need to let them go. In life, some people will be leaves, others will be branches, and it’s up to us to figure out who deserves to be permanent fixtures in our lives.

I’m not allowing people to treat me like I’m a fool in 2016, it is true that I don’t have control over their actions, but I do have control over who is a part of my life, and this year I’m moving forward to live Happy, Healthy, and Wealthy. I have no time for people seeking discounts, people who are constantly taking and never giving, people who are not equally yoked, and people that don’t appreciate the value I contribute.

I wish you all a Joyous, Prosperous, and Happy 2016!

Teach.Inspire.Motivate.Empower

Picture from the amazing artist Pienele Chill