Bay Area

HerFancy30thBDAY

Published on December 24, 2016 by B-Fancy2 Comments

On December 17, 2016, I turned 30 years old. I have never felt so fulfilled in all of my life. I am a woman who experienced pain, embarrassment, love, loss, death, life, excitement, and accomplishment in my 20’s. I’m excited to close the door to the 20th chapter of my life, and open the door to Chapter 30!

I look forward to seeing my hard work pay off in my 30’s. I’m seeing it now in the first week! I look forward to being more carefree and enjoying every single moment.

I look forward to saying F the stretch marks, and so what if I’m squeezing into my size 6 jeans. Knowing next week, they may be an 8.

I look forward to traveling and seeing the world with my beautiful baby girl!

My 20’s taught me:

1. Strive for Greatness.
2. Stay humble.
3. Give Back.
4. Love yourself.
5. Be relentless about making your dreams a reality.
6. Knowing that what is meant to be will be.
7. Hard work pays off.
8. Be confident.
9. Know your worth.
10. F* your pride.
11. Do what makes you happy.
12. Self-Care is a must.
13. Work-Out.
14. Be kind to others.
15. Allow people to be who they are.
16. Your circle reflects you.
17. Eliminate toxic people from your life.
18. If you focus on you, you won’t see where others are lacking.
19. Have integrity.
20. TRAVEL! – See the world.
21. Use spellcheck.
22. Show appreciation.
23. Be Grateful.
24. Think before you speak.
25. Help heal and not tear down.
26. Write your goals on paper.
27. Be honest and have tact.
28. Privacy is important.
29. Be organized.
30. Slay.

Young People…. STOP F*ing up your life.

Published on January 26, 2016January 26, 2016 by B-FancyLeave a comment

There is a young woman who is 23 years old. I’ve known her all of her life. Her sister is one of my Best Friends, and our families have been close since before I was born.

This young sista is beautiful and smart (or so I thought). She has not always made the right decisions but really who has? From the outside looking in, I thought she was trying. She had gone out of state for college, but a series of poor decisions brought her home to her sister’s couch without a degree. She ended up finding retail employment for about $12.00 per hour.

Me being the problem-solving diva that I am, I reached out to her to let her know about a free training program in her field of interest that could potentially double her income. This training program would be free to her for 5 to 6 hours a day for 16 weeks. Previous graduates of this program are making between $20.00 to $40.00 per hour.

She led me to believe she was really interested in this opportunity. She attended the orientation, completed the test, and participated in 3 interviews, just to not show up on the first day of class.

This is a program that had over 100 applicants for 23 spaces. I spoke to the instructor and the counselors to ensure she got into this cohort. I feel like she slapped me in the face and F*d off an opportunity to change her life.

She’s standing still right now, with no direction as to where her life is going. She’s not thinking about her future and is consumed with getting her nails done and ordering the best hair for her sew-in. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s nothing wrong with getting your hair and nails done, but that can’t be the purpose of your life.

I just want to yell, what the hell is wrong with you? You’re not living up to your potential and as an adult, it’s no ones fault but your own. Be accountable, be a woman of your word, and don’t drag other people down with you. I didn’t have to put my name on the line for you, I didn’t have to extend the olive branch to give you a life-changing opportunity, but I did because I love you, I respect you, and I know you could have a bright future if you apply yourself and commit to something.

What’s, even more, sad is the lack of accountability and the need to play the blame game instead of saying I F*d up. I took it back to our Shule Mandela Academy days and recited a portion of a pledge we recited daily that stated: “All learning is not fun, some learning is tedious, but we cannot be black and proud, and all so be dumb, therefore we must learn, we are the next generation.” I get crickets from her, so I’m done. I can no longer help people that don’t want to help themselves.

Fortunately, I don’t mind helping another young sista, I just can’t help her.

Call to Action: Young People, take control of your life and Live life to it’s fullest potential because we only get one. Take advantage of every opportunity and go for all of your dreams!

Teach.Inspire.Motivate.Empower

Gratitude is a KEY to Success!

Published on January 14, 2016January 14, 2016 by B-Fancy1 Comment

“The miracle of gratitude is that it shifts your perception to such an extent that it changes the world you see” – Dr. Robert Holden

No Discounts in 2016

Published on January 2, 2016January 2, 2016 by B-Fancy4 Comments

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Often times with relationships, all relationships including friendships, romantic relationships, and relationships with family, we let other people treat us in a manner that doesn’t make us feel good. We allow them to lie to us (discount), make fools of us (discount), and not be people of their word (discount). When we allow people to treat us in this manner, we feel hurt, we feel unworthy, and we feel insignificant. When we let people do this to us time and time again, we are giving them discounts, which show how we feel about ourselves as oppose to how another person feels about us. When you know your value, you don’t give discounts.

When you think of High-end Luxury brands, you’ll notice that they don’t discount their prices, because they know their worth, and understand that people, who value their product, will pay what is asked. We need to know our worth, and when people don’t value and/or appreciate us, we need to let them go. In life, some people will be leaves, others will be branches, and it’s up to us to figure out who deserves to be permanent fixtures in our lives.

I’m not allowing people to treat me like I’m a fool in 2016, it is true that I don’t have control over their actions, but I do have control over who is a part of my life, and this year I’m moving forward to live Happy, Healthy, and Wealthy. I have no time for people seeking discounts, people who are constantly taking and never giving, people who are not equally yoked, and people that don’t appreciate the value I contribute.

I wish you all a Joyous, Prosperous, and Happy 2016!

Teach.Inspire.Motivate.Empower

Picture from the amazing artist Pienele Chill

LIVE YOUR LEGEND

Published on October 5, 2015October 5, 2015 by B-FancyLeave a comment

LIVE YOUR LEGEND

I was home this weekend and decided to watch a few TED TALKS that my friend recommended. OMG, I felt so intrigued by the idea of LIVING YOUR LEGEND! As humans, we are often faced with decisions that will change our life, and we usually choose what is safe vs. what we truly desire. We choose what is safe because we don’t feel good enough to have what we really want. We let our feelings of inadequacy and insecurity prevent us from following our dreams and desires. Living Your Legend is about finding your passion and unapologetically going after what you want and the life you want.

This came to me at a perfect time in my life. I’m in a place of transition and right now I’m sitting in a parking lot trying to figure out what path I want to take. I often feel beaten up, discouraged, inadequate, and fearful, because I’ve faced rejection so many times. After while you start to believe that you’ll never have what you desire, because it’s so hard to attain. I’ve realized that I have to encourage myself! I have to know that what is meant for me is for me and if I don’t get what think I want, it may be for the best.

I wish all of you a happy and productive week and remember to LIVE YOUR LEGEND!

Liebster

Published on September 16, 2015September 16, 2015 by B-FancyLeave a comment

OMG…..This is such an honor! I was nominated for a Liebster by the amazing @solarflowerchild! I did not have a clue what this was until I saw her post.

These awards only have a few rules:

Thank the blogger who nominated you with a link back to his/her blog
Answer the questions asked by the nominator
Nominate bloggers with under 500 followers
Create 10 questions for the nominees to answer.

Who do you look up to most/ who is your role model?

I look up to so many different people, but my role model would be Sheila E. Lewis! She is an African American Entrepreneur, a marketer by trade. She follows her dreams and lives fearlessly. She does this all in Stilettos! She is a fabulous leader and runs a very successful firm. I want to be like her when I grow up! Check out Ashton212.com, to learn more about her.

Number one place you’ve always wanted to travel to or have traveled to? Why is it number one?

The number one place I want to travel to is Ghana. Being a decedent of African’s who were a part of the Trans-Atlantic slave trade, and having my culture and heritage stolen from me, I’ve longed to have a link to my original ancestors. From my research, I’ve found that most African’s who were enslaved are originally from the Western Coast of Africa, and most went through the doors of no return in Ghana. I hope that touching this soil brings be closer to my finding myself.

What is one of the most embarrassing things you have ever done?

One of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever done was fall down the stairs at Kaiser after a doctor’s appointment. I was looking at my phone as I was walking down the stairs, and completely missed a step and tumbled down quite a few stairs. Not to mention the fall was loud.

What is your favorite color? How does it describe you?

My favorite color is Purple! Purple is associated with royalty, of which describes my ancestors. Purple symbolizes power, nobility, luxury, and ambition. These are all attributes that describe me.

Favorite movie of all time?

My favorite movie of all time is Crooklyn, by Spike Lee. I could watch this movie over and over again.

List five things you would put on your bucket list (So I can add them to mine :] )

Sky Diving
Starting my own business
Going Natural (done)
Going white water rafting (done)
Take a road trip across the country

Favorite music artist?

Beyonce

What would you tell your 13-year-old self? Why?

I would tell by 13-year-old self that you’re good enough, smart enough, pretty enough. You are enough just as you are, and don’t let anyone define your life. Do what you want to do and be confident in your decisions. I think these are important things to hear as a child, because I didn’t pursue a lot of things that I wanted to do at a young age, because of my fear of failure and rejection.

If you could relive one moment in your life what would it be? Why?

If I could relive one moment in my life if would be the moment I selected a college because I should have followed my heart.

Do you have any regrets in your life, if so list one. Explain why you regret it. If not, explain why you have no regrets.

Not in a place to share, but thank you for asking!

Thank you @SolarFlowerChild for nominating me. This was fun and really made me reflect on my life and my decisions. I nominate

@Sister Shabazz

2. @VanessaMichelle

3. @BareLEEthere

4. @TooMuchMouth

5. @PiecesofNiaG

6. @CatDinas

My Questions:

What are you most passionate about?
Are you Natural or Straight? and Why?
Who is your favorite Celebrity and why?
How would you spend a “lazy” day?
What is your favorite quote?
If you could quit your job and do anything what would it be?
Dinner and a movie or Drinks and dancing?
If you could change anything about your life, what would it be? Why?
What is your middle name?
If you could have selected your own name what would it have been?

Was the Thrill Worth it?

Published on July 31, 2015 by B-Fancy9 Comments

My best friend has been seeing a guy off and on for 5 years. OMG……he is such a freaking DOGGGGGG. He is tall, dark, handsome, and very successful. A recipe for DOGG…..LOL. They have a very interesting relationship, he would randomly come around and whisk her away on mini vacations. As a responsible best friend, I expressed to her that something was up with him and she insisted that they had an understanding and I backed off…… I had a feeling he was in a relationship but didn’t want to stick my nose too far into a situation that didn’t belong to me.

Here we are 5 years after they met and the poop has hit the fan. They were getting ready for a long weekend trip together, and she was looking for a good book for the ride. She enjoyed reading the first book he wrote, so she asked him for suggestions for books by other authors in his genre. She didn’t hear back from him soon enough and decided to google him to see what other book suggestions arise. Well, the google search gave her more than she bargained for.
She found out he got married last year and has a newborn baby. Yes, married last year and they’ve been dating (well knowing each other) for 5 years. I could not believe it. How do you lie about your whole life?

To his credit, he never promised my girl long-term, he never made any commitments or sold any dreams, but he lied about his relationship status for years. He never said he was in a committed relationship, never once said he even had a girlfriend, let along a fiancé or a wife, and these were questions she asked on a regular basis. When they met, he told her that he had just gone through a divorce and was enjoying being single. When she confronted him, he said we have a good thing going, and my relationship with my WIFE is complicated. Let’s continue what we have. This man must be crazy to think she would be comforatble being his mistress.

Why are men so freaking selfish. Just going around lying and hurting people. Let’s not even discuss the health risk, when you’re sleeping around with multiple partners and your partners are sleeping with multiple partners. This shows the lack of respect that he has for his marriage and his wife.

What’s even sadder is his amazing, well educated, well-accomplished wife doesn’t know who he really is. This man has a secret life where he is taking other women on trips with their money and sleeping with them. He is putting his family at risk, and I wonder is it really worth the thrill.

I’m shocked that it took my girl this long to google this man. These days, that’s the first thing you do.

Please note: I received her permission to blog about her experience.

Missing my Mommy!

Published on July 20, 2015July 22, 2015 by B-Fancy2 Comments

7-18-2008 was the hardest day of my life and now 7-18 any year has become difficult for me to deal with. It was the day my mom passed away. I will never forget that phone call, that moment, that feeling, the hurt, pain, and devastation I felt. This year, I vowed that I was going to celebrate my mom in a way that didn’t make me feel overwhelmed with sadness, but to celebrate the love we shared, the bond we had, and memories we made.

So on 7/18/2015, I stayed busy, spent time with friends and enjoyed myself, but 7/19/2015 was the worst. I was sad, crying, everything reminded me of her, everything hurt my feelings. I don’t know how to stop hurting, they say it gets easier to deal with over time, but 7 years later and it feels the same.I love my mom so much and miss her dearly. I miss loving her and her loving me. I was pregnant with my daughter when I lost my mom, it makes me love my daughter even more. I’m grateful to my creator for blessing me with a mom, who thought my light was brighter than the sun, she was my number 1 fan, and I am forever grateful for everything we went through together, it prepared me for a tough world.

Rest in Peace Mommy! I love and miss you with everything in me!

So, I tried a new barber………Barber Chronicles…….the Struggle

Published on July 8, 2015 by B-FancyLeave a comment

So, I’ve been asking people about barbers, and it seems as if no one in my immediate circle goes to a barber on a consistent basis. A co-worker of mine referred his father to me, but when I called him he seemed a bit aggressive. After our first conversation, I thought to myself I’ll pass.
I didn’t want to drive all the way to Richmond to see my previous barber, so I decided to just test one out. I found a small barbershop near my house. I wanted my hair cut on a Thursday, so I went in on Wednesday to check out the place. The place was packed and everyone had a client in their chair but the guy in the front. (note: I would not take the barber in the front of the shop with no clients.) As soon as I walked in, everyone smiled, greeted me and made me feel welcomed. I just walked to the man who I seemed to have made eye contact with first, and his name was ED. I looked a mess to in my gym clothes and feeling tired from my workout. He first tried to have me sit in the barber’s chair that I was avoiding and I said no. He then asked me when I wanted my haircut, and to take his number down and let him know when I wanted to come in.
As soon as I got home I sent him a very professional text letting him know the date and time I wanted my hair cut. He proceeded to ask me “what’s up with the purple hair”, first off bra, that’s not good customer service, but my co-worker said I can’t be sensitive with this hair cut…LOL, so I let it slide. I went and got my hair cut the next day, and was dolled up. I didn’t want to go in looking a mess two days in a row with all these handsome men around….LOL. I was turned off by the smoking section in the front…..(gross)….I can’t stand people smoking in public places, but I was there so I went in. I sat in his chair and he was very nice and pleasant. He asked me a few questions about what I wanted and a few questions about life while other barbers chimed in. It was cool.
Once he was done, I was satisfied. Not excited, but not disappointed. After getting home, I started getting all these text messages from him. He felt the need to tell me how great I looked without make-up, but how I know how to not do too much with the makeup. He even requested I send him pictures of myself after I sponge roll my hair. I was like damn dude. Did you really just try and push up on me. I just want to get a good haircut and mind my business. Now I’m scared to tell him I’m not interested, because I don’t want him to mess up my hair, but I don’t want him to think that he has action at anything with me. The struggle is real……I’m going to continue my search in finding a good barber in the Bay.

Brunching in the Bay: San Leandro Edition, Paradiso

Published on July 8, 2015 by B-FancyLeave a comment

On Sunday of this past week, I had the pleasure of having brunch with two really amazing women! Both of whom inspire me! We decided to have brunch at one of our favorite spots, PARADISO, and they NEVER disappoint. The service was A-1, the food was great, and the overall experience was great!

I arrived first and walked-in to a host with a big smile and welcoming attitude. I let her know, we would be a party of 3 and what table we preferred. She reserved our table, and I went outside to soak up the sun.

After my girl C-C arrived, we went and sat down and began to chat and wait for the third member of our party. As soon as we got comfortable the waitress was there asking us for our drink order, we ordered tea, she brought the tea and water.

After the third member of our party arrived, we ordered our brunch and an appetizer to share. For our appetizer we shared the DUNGENSS CRAB & AVOCADO, it is the best thing on EARTH. The flavors just dance in your mouth, it’s truly superb. Anyone who has ever been to Paradiso has tried this dish. It is unique to their restaurant and its fresh and healthy.

My main course was the DUNGENESS CRAB OMELET with egg whites, sub the potatoes for fruit. I enjoyed my entree, but it was not as flavorful as the appetizer.

We sat, talked, laughed, sipped, bounced business ideas off of each other, gave relationship advice, and enjoyed our time with each other. I appreciate having genuine relationships with intelligent, ambitious, people who like to have fun with its time, and get stuff done when its time. I’m very grateful that the universe has brought these two into my life.