Was the Thrill Worth it?

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My best friend has been seeing a guy off and on for 5 years. OMG……he is such a freaking DOGGGGGG. He is tall, dark, handsome, and very successful. A recipe for DOGG…..LOL. They have a very interesting relationship, he would randomly come around and whisk her away on mini vacations. As a responsible best friend, I expressed to her that something was up with him and she insisted that they had an understanding and I backed off…… I had a feeling he was in a relationship but didn’t want to stick my nose too far into a situation that didn’t belong to me.

Here we are 5 years after they met and the poop has hit the fan. They were getting ready for a long weekend trip together, and she was looking for a good book for the ride. She enjoyed reading the first book he wrote, so she asked him for suggestions for books by other authors in his genre. She didn’t hear back from him soon enough and decided to google him to see what other book suggestions arise. Well, the google search gave her more than she bargained for.
She found out he got married last year and has a newborn baby. Yes, married last year and they’ve been dating (well knowing each other) for 5 years. I could not believe it. How do you lie about your whole life?

To his credit, he never promised my girl long-term, he never made any commitments or sold any dreams, but he lied about his relationship status for years. He never said he was in a committed relationship, never once said he even had a girlfriend, let along a fiancé or a wife, and these were questions she asked on a regular basis. When they met, he told her that he had just gone through a divorce and was enjoying being single. When she confronted him, he said we have a good thing going, and my relationship with my WIFE is complicated. Let’s continue what we have. This man must be crazy to think she would be comforatble being his mistress.

Why are men so freaking selfish. Just going around lying and hurting people. Let’s not even discuss the health risk, when you’re sleeping around with multiple partners and your partners are sleeping with multiple partners. This shows the lack of respect that he has for his marriage and his wife.

What’s even sadder is his amazing, well educated, well-accomplished wife doesn’t know who he really is. This man has a secret life where he is taking other women on trips with their money and sleeping with them. He is putting his family at risk, and I wonder is it really worth the thrill.

I’m shocked that it took my girl this long to google this man. These days, that’s the first thing you do.

Please note: I received her permission to blog about her experience.

Missing my Mommy!

 

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7-18-2008Screenshot_2015-05-08-07-59-46 was the hardest day of my life and now 7-18 any year has become difficult for me to deal with. It was the day my mom passed away. I will never forget that phone call, that moment, that feeling, the hurt, pain, and devastation I felt. This year, I vowed that I was going to celebrate my mom in a way that didn’t make me feel overwhelmed with sadness, but to celebrate the love we shared, the bond we had, and memories we made.

So on 7/18/2015, I stayed busy, spent time with friends and enjoyed myself, but 7/19/2015 was the worst. I was sad, crying, everything reminded me of her, everything hurt my feelings. I don’t know how to stop hurting, they say it gets easiBaby Ber to deal with over time, but 7 years later and it feels the same.I love my mom so much and miss her dearly. I miss loving her and her loving me. I was pregnant with my daughter when I lost my mom, it makes me love my daughter even more. I’m grateful to my creator for blessing me with a mom, who thought my light was brighter than the sun, she was my number 1 fan, and I am forever grateful for everything we went through together, it prepared me for a tough world.

Rest in Peace Mommy! I love and miss you with everything in me!

So, I tried a new barber………Barber Chronicles…….the Struggle

So, I’ve been asking people about barbers, and it seems as if no one in my immediate circle goes to a barber on a consistent basis. A co-worker of mine referred his father to me, but when I called him he seemed a bit aggressive. After our first conversation, I thought to myself I’ll pass.
I didn’t want to drive all the way to Richmond to see my previous barber, so I decided to just test one out. I found a small barbershop near my house. I wanted my hair cut on a Thursday, so I went in on Wednesday to check out the place. The place was packed and everyone had a client in their chair but the guy in the front. (note: I would not take the barber in the front of the shop with no clients.) As soon as I walked in, everyone smiled, greeted me and made me feel welcomed. I just walked to the man who I seemed to have made eye contact with first, and his name was ED. I looked a mess to in my gym clothes and feeling tired from my workout. He first tried to have me sit in the barber’s chair that I was avoiding and I said no. He then asked me when I wanted my haircut, and to take his number down and let him know when I wanted to come in.
As soon as I got home I sent him a very professional text letting him know the date and time I wanted my hair cut. He proceeded to ask me “what’s up with the purple hair”, first off bra, that’s not good customer service, but my co-worker said I can’t be sensitive with this hair cut…LOL, so I let it slide. I went and got my hair cut the next day, and was dolled up. I didn’t want to go in looking a mess two days in a row with all these handsome men around….LOL. I was turned off by the smoking section in the front…..(gross)….I can’t stand people smoking in public places, but I was there so I went in. I sat in his chair and he was very nice and pleasant. He asked me a few questions about what I wanted and a few questions about life while other barbers chimed in. It was cool.
Once he was done, I was satisfied. Not excited, but not disappointed. After getting home, I started getting all these text messages from him. He felt the need to tell me how great I looked without make-up, but how I know how to not do too much with the makeup. He even requested I send him pictures of myself after I sponge roll my hair. I was like damn dude. Did you really just try and push up on me. I just want to get a good haircut and mind my business. Now I’m scared to tell him I’m not interested, because I don’t want him to mess up my hair, but I don’t want him to think that he has action at anything with me. The struggle is real……I’m going to continue my search in finding a good barber in the Bay.

Brunching in the Bay: San Leandro Edition, Paradiso

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On Sunday of this past week, I had the pleasure of having brunch with two really amazing women! Both of whom inspire me! We decided to have brunch at one of our favorite spots, PARADISO, and they NEVER disappoint. The service was A-1, the food was great, and the overall experience was great!

I arrived first and walked-in to a host with a big smile and welcoming attitude. I let her know, we would be a party of 3 and what table we preferred. She reserved our table, and I went outside to soak up the sun.

After my girl C-C arrived, we went and sat down and began to chat and wait for the third member of our party. As soon as we got comfortable the waitress was there asking us for our drink order, we ordered tea, she brought the tea and water.

After the third member of our party arrived, we ordered our brunch and an appetizer to share. For our appetizer we shared the DUNGENSS CRAB & AVOCADO, it is the best thing on EARTH. The flavors just dance in your mouth, it’s truly superb. Anyone who has ever been to Paradiso has tried this dish. It is unique to their restaurant and its fresh and healthy.

My main course was the DUNGENESS CRAB OMELET with egg whites, sub the potatoes for fruit. I enjoyed my entree, but it was not as flavorful as the appetizer.

We sat, talked, laughed, sipped, bounced business ideas off of each other, gave relationship advice, and enjoyed our time with each other. I appreciate having genuine relationships with intelligent, ambitious, people who like to have fun with its time, and get stuff done when its time. I’m very grateful that the universe has brought these two into my life.

San Jose Juneteenth 2015

Juneteenth is the oldest celebration of the abolishment of slavery in the United States. Most recently it’s celebrated in a festival-like manner, where people celebrate black culture, with performances, vendors selling clothes, jewelry, food, non-profit organization giving out information, and now even service providers offering different services for the attendee’s at the event.
I try to make it out to several different Juneteenth celebrations, but this year I only made it to one, and that was the San Jose Juneteenth festival. Often this celebration is fun and has several people attending, but this year seemed a little off.
The celebration was at a new park this year. This park was bigger than the park it is normally at, and I think it worked against the organizers. They had Keke Wyatt perform and maybe anticipated a larger crowd, but it seemed like not very many people attended the celebration this year.
The event began in the late morning, I arrived around noon and got lost. I initially went to the original park, where another festival was taking place, and so an old family friend who pointed me in the direction of Juneteenth. I finally made it to the park, after getting lost on my journey. I made it in the gate, and it was hottttttttt, I probably guzzled down a gallon of water as the day progressed.
As soon as I got in the park, I had to feed my daughter and myself. I was looking for a #PointFriendly option and noticed, the food options were very few. There was a fried food vendor (chicken, fish, & fries), a Jamaican food vendor, and a sweets vendor. I was hoping for BBQ but settled for Jamaican. I got the Jerk chicken, which was grilled, with plantain, and rice and peas! It was very tasty and filling, and the #PointFriendly option.
After getting my food, I walked around to check out all the vendors. I supported all the vendors by purchasing something from their booth including books, t-shirts, and jewelry. I also stopped by the PG&E booth and the Comcast service booth. Though I didn’t need the service that PG&E or Comcast was giving away, I went by to hear their sales pitch. After checking out the vendors and getting food, we spent the majority of our day sitting with my dear friend at her booth. She was a vendor at the event! She had a prime location booth right near the front of the entrance. Well at least I thought it was the prime location, but I noticed that a lot of people opted out of supporting the vendors, not sure why, but I would assume because they had to pay an admission fee, they decided to just eat, socialize and watch the show.
Keke Wyatt’s performance was mediocre at best. Don’t get me wrong, that woman can SANG, but she kept giving excuses and talking in the middle of the song. She was shooting for her upcoming reality show, and maybe she was directing as she was performing, but I was disappointed in her performance and left in the middle.
Overall, I’m glad I was able to support at least 1 Juneteenth celebration this year, but I wish I would have gone to another. This year’s SJ Juneteenth seemed like a waste of time, energy, and money.

The Big Chop: Cutting off all of my hair and starting over!

Every time I run into a person that knows me, they gasp …LOL. They are like “OMG you cut your hair”. Not only did I cut off all of my hair, but I went natural and dyed my hair purple. I was the person who always had to be at the hair salon to make sure my hair was on point. Never wanted a strand to be out of place. I’ve done everything with my hair, except wearing it how my creator created it. I’ve worn short straight styles, long weaves, short weaves, press and curls, corn rows, singles, so on and so forth.

In December of 2014 I had extensions put in by celebrity stylist Tamara NeCole also known as #SaddityHair. This was the biggest hair mistake of my life. When I took my extensions out February 14, 2015, I had 35% hair loss in the middle of my head. It was a huge bald spot. I was literally in tears from this experience. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know if the damage was permanent, if it was repairable, I didn’t know what to do, but I was devastated. I reached out to her, and she apologized and sent me a month’s supply of hair vitamins, and growth oil, but dragged her feet with sending the package. I felt like her and her staff could have had better customer service considering she pulled out a ton of my hair. After that, I worked with my natural hair stylist in the Bay Area to grow my hair back. I vowed that once/if my hair grew back in, I was cutting it off and going natural. No more pulling and struggling to do unnecessary things to my hair. No more feeling like I have to conform to society’s expectation of beauty.

On Friday June 12, 2015, my hair had grown in where the damage occurred, no more bald spots. I felt so relieved and one week later on June 24, 2015 I went to a barber and cut everything off. I had my natural Hair stylist color it to give it an edge.

I fell in love. I feel free, freer than I have ever felt. I was so unhappy and insecure with my hair, especially after the damage occurred, and NOW I have taken my happiness back. Cutting my hair felt more emotional & spiritual than physical. With every strand being cut was negative thoughts and/or feelings leaving my body.

Today I walk in my journey of life with power, strength, love, and JOY!

Concerts in the Bay: Summer Jam 2015

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BAYYY BAY (in my New Orleans accent voice), I had the best time at Summer Jam this year! First off, I’ve been hitting Summer Jam, since I was 12 or 13…..LOL, I’m an OG in this game. I’ve been to Summer Jam at The Shoreline Amphitheater, Concord Pavilion, Oracle Arena in the Suites, and regular seats at Oracle Arena, and to be honest the fun never depended on the location, but who I went with. It’s always fun doing things with fun people! There were no fun killers in our group!
This year I attended with a few friends and my sister. The show was really good and everybody around us (except the two miserable birds in front of us) was turnt up and having a great time. We were all dancing and singing along with the performers and/or the DJ during the intermission. It almost felt like club night with an awesome DJ. Everyone was dressed up, hair done, make-up done, nails done, real FANCY, and smelling good, especially the guys who set in the section behind us, but I’ll write a separate blog post for that tea. On behalf of my whole crew, we want to shout out KMEL for having a great line up this year!  (Emphasis on this year…..lol)

When I tell you Trey Songs put on a good show, he was absolutely great. He voice was beautiful! I love an artist that sounds as good in person as they do on the radio! This was my second time seeing him in concert! Though he performed well, I would rate his set a 9/10, minus one for his wack dancers. I’m like they are more of a distraction then entertaining. The outfits they wore didn’t compliment his at all, and it just seemed a little out of place to me. Other than making a bad choice on hiring dancers for his show, he had a good set, and shout out to him for paying homage to our home team #Warriors, while in their house! He is a classy man.

They saved the best for last. Weezy F. BABY! He really knows how to get the crowd pumped up! He was a one man army that night, and commanded the attention of thousands in the building. He didn’t have any gimmicks nor any distractions, just straight Tunchi! Not to mention, he spilled some ground breaking tea! He has really left Cash Money (I never saw that coming), signed a deal with his idol JAYZ, and his next album will be released on Tidal.  I’m like, make them moves baby! It is a beautiful thing to follow your dreams and maintain success, and it’s that much sweeter when you’re able to do things the way you want. Kudos to Lil Wayne, he really inspired me!

Overall, I really enjoyed myself at this concert!