I got 99 problems, but a BARBER ain’t one!

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I got 99 problems, but a BARBER ain’t one!
So…..I was referred to a barber by a friend of mine. He said “dude is a cat*, but he’ll cut you right”. I started laughing and said ok, I’ll try him out.

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When I arrived at the location, I walked into a beauty shop first, and his barbering area was in the rear. Being in an environment that had an equal amount of men and women made me feel a little more at ease. He was running late and had people waiting, so I made a mental note that he may have an issue with being on time. He was very personable and asked me a lot of questions that made me feel relaxed, and he put the cape around me and went to work. I’m sitting there with a few butterflies in my stomach as my hair hit the floor, but excited to see the outcome. As I turned around and faced the mirror, I was Shocked. It was low…. Real low… I didn’t know if I liked it or not, but I knew he gave me a great cut. It was feminine, even, and cut well. After leaving the shop, I went to my sister, and she dyed it brown (I had too many natural highlights aka grey hairs), and after it was dyed, I fell in love with my hair. I felt empowered! Cinderella had finally found her slipper.

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It can be difficult being a woman with short hair, and to not have people cut it properly can really feel devastating. It messes with your self-esteem.
Since my first haircut, I’ve gone back on three separate occasions. Honestly he is the best barber, but boy can he tell a story, and he’s never on time, but hey, I look great!

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Cat* – a person who is always talking, but never says anything with substance. Not trustworthy.

LIVE YOUR LEGEND

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LIVE YOUR LEGEND

I was home this weekend and decided to watch a few TED TALKS that my friend recommended. OMG, I felt so intrigued by the idea of LIVING YOUR LEGEND! As humans, we are often faced with decisions that will change our life, and we usually choose what is safe vs. what we truly desire. We choose what is safe because we don’t feel good enough to have what we really want. We let our feelings of inadequacy and insecurity prevent us from following our dreams and desires. Living Your Legend is about finding your passion and unapologetically going after what you want and the life you want.

This came to me at a perfect time in my life. I’m in a place of transition and right now I’m sitting in a parking lot trying to figure out what path I want to take. I often feel beaten up, discouraged, inadequate, and fearful, because I’ve faced rejection so many times. After while you start to believe that you’ll never have what you desire, because it’s so hard to attain. I’ve realized that I have to encourage myself! I have to know that what is meant for me is for me and if I don’t get what think I want, it may be for the best.

I wish all of you a happy and productive week and remember to LIVE YOUR LEGEND!

WING TIP for a haircut!

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My handsome, younger co-worker came into the office on a Friday and said he was going to get his haircut downstairs, and I was shocked. I’m like where? At Wingtip? He laughed and said yes! He said that their barber does a great job and extended a discount to him. I said oh, wow, that’s wassup. So I sashayed my way down there and asked the barber if he could squeeze me in. He said “of course”. The facility is very fancy, the ambiance is amazing, and there is only one person in the space at a time! The barber is handsome and personable. We talked the entire time, laughing and talking like we’d known each other for years! He made me feel very comfortable and gave me a run-down of his experience. I was impressed with his resume and proud of his accomplishments though we’d just met.

The shop is downstairs from my office, and I thought I had finally found my barber… Until I was done getting my haircut and looked in the mirror. I thought to myself why didn’t he line up the sides of my hair. From the front you can’t even tell, I had had a haircut. The cut itself was even, and the back was perfect. The only thing is, when I look in the mirror, I see the front, and if that is not cute, then we have a problem.

After experiencing this, I thought to myself, maybe I should give him a second chance. With all of my barbering experiences, I’ve only got cut by each barber 1 time. I’ve never given them an opportunity to redeem themselves or to make a better impression, I always axe them after my first encounter. I also thought that maybe I should have better direction. Maybe my pictures aren’t clear enough, maybe it’s me.
Until I found Jay!

Liebster

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OMG…..This is such an honor! I was nominated for a Liebster by the amazing @solarflowerchild! I did not have a clue what this was until I saw her post.

These awards only have a few rules: 

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you with a link back to his/her blog
  2. Answer the questions asked by the nominator
  3. Nominate bloggers with under 500 followers
  4. Create 10 questions for the nominees to answer.

Who do you look up to most/ who is your role model?

I look up to so many different people, but my role model would be Sheila E. Lewis! She is an African American Entrepreneur, a marketer by trade. She follows her dreams and lives fearlessly. She does this all in Stilettos! She is a fabulous leader and runs a very successful firm. I want to be like her when I grow up! Check out Ashton212.com, to learn more about her.

Number one place you’ve always wanted to travel to or have traveled to?  Why is it number one?

The number one place I want to travel to is Ghana. Being a decedent of African’s who were a part of the Trans-Atlantic slave trade, and having my culture and heritage stolen from me, I’ve longed to have a link to my original ancestors. From my research, I’ve found that most African’s who were enslaved are originally from the Western Coast of Africa, and most went through the doors of no return in Ghana. I hope that touching this soil brings be closer to my finding myself.

What is one of the most embarrassing things you have ever done?

One of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever done was fall down the stairs at Kaiser after a doctor’s appointment. I was looking at my phone as I was walking down the stairs, and completely missed a step and tumbled down quite a few stairs. Not to mention the fall was loud.

What is your favorite color?  How does it describe you?

My favorite color is Purple! Purple is associated with royalty, of which describes my ancestors. Purple symbolizes power, nobility, luxury, and ambition. These are all attributes that describe me.

Favorite movie of all time?

My favorite movie of all time is Crooklyn, by Spike Lee. I could watch this movie over and over again.

List five things you would put on your bucket list (So I can add them to mine :] )

  • Sky Diving
  • Starting my own business
  • Going Natural (done)
  • Going white water rafting (done)
  • Take a road trip across the country

Favorite music artist?

Beyonce

What would you tell your 13-year-old self?  Why?

I would tell by 13-year-old self that you’re good enough, smart enough, pretty enough. You are enough just as you are, and don’t let anyone define your life. Do what you want to do and be confident in your decisions. I think these are important things to hear as a child, because I didn’t pursue a lot of things that I wanted to do at a young age, because of my fear of failure and rejection.

If you could relive one moment in your life what would it be?  Why?

If I could relive one moment in my life if would be the moment I selected a college because I should have followed my heart.

Do you have any regrets in your life, if so list one.  Explain why you regret it.  If not, explain why you have no regrets.

Not in a place to share, but thank you for asking!

Thank you @SolarFlowerChild for nominating me. This was fun and really made me reflect on my life and my decisions. I nominate

  1. @Sister Shabazz

2. @VanessaMichelle

3. @BareLEEthere 

4. @TooMuchMouth

5. @PiecesofNiaG

6. @CatDinas

My Questions:

  1. What are you most passionate about?
  2. Are you Natural or Straight? and Why?
  3. Who is your favorite Celebrity and why?
  4. How would you spend a “lazy” day?
  5. What is your favorite quote?
  6. If you could quit your job and do anything what would it be?
  7. Dinner and a movie or Drinks and dancing?
  8. If you could change anything about your life, what would it be? Why?
  9. What is your middle name?
  10. If you could have selected your own name what would it have been?

Straight Outta Compton!

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This movie was the absolute bomb! Shame on me for waiting so long to do a review….LOL. I enjoyed every minute of this movie from beginning to end. The story line was entertaining as well as historical. I enjoyed how relatable the movie was. As a person who was about 5 years old while all of the things were happening in real life, it meant a lot to me to revisit what was going on in our world at that time. It’s interesting how some things come full circle and repeat itself, for example in the movie they touched on the Rodney King beating, and as I was watching it, I couldn’t help but to shake my head because I can no longer keep count of how much police MURDER and brutality that is caught on tape, published in mainstream media, and still ignored.

Prior to watching this movie, I really liked Ice Cube, and after watching this movie, I was inspired, motivated, and grew an enormous amount of respect for Ice Cube. I love that he stood up for himself at a time, when everyone wanted to get their check, so they kept quiet. I love how he peeped game and spoke on it, instead of ignoring it. I love that he was and still is a man of Integrity, a man of Strength, and a man that followed his dreams to success.

Many times I’ve seen people fall victim to their circumstances. They allow the poverty stricken communities that they came from determine their future and how they live their lives. Watching these young men tell their truth, follow their dreams, and become extremely successful inspired me. I want to be a woman who when they tell my story it inspires someone to do great things, find happiness, and love themselves.

I am a first generation college graduate fighting to make my dream of financial freedom a reality and it will come!

Was the Thrill Worth it?

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My best friend has been seeing a guy off and on for 5 years. OMG……he is such a freaking DOGGGGGG. He is tall, dark, handsome, and very successful. A recipe for DOGG…..LOL. They have a very interesting relationship, he would randomly come around and whisk her away on mini vacations. As a responsible best friend, I expressed to her that something was up with him and she insisted that they had an understanding and I backed off…… I had a feeling he was in a relationship but didn’t want to stick my nose too far into a situation that didn’t belong to me.

Here we are 5 years after they met and the poop has hit the fan. They were getting ready for a long weekend trip together, and she was looking for a good book for the ride. She enjoyed reading the first book he wrote, so she asked him for suggestions for books by other authors in his genre. She didn’t hear back from him soon enough and decided to google him to see what other book suggestions arise. Well, the google search gave her more than she bargained for.
She found out he got married last year and has a newborn baby. Yes, married last year and they’ve been dating (well knowing each other) for 5 years. I could not believe it. How do you lie about your whole life?

To his credit, he never promised my girl long-term, he never made any commitments or sold any dreams, but he lied about his relationship status for years. He never said he was in a committed relationship, never once said he even had a girlfriend, let along a fiancé or a wife, and these were questions she asked on a regular basis. When they met, he told her that he had just gone through a divorce and was enjoying being single. When she confronted him, he said we have a good thing going, and my relationship with my WIFE is complicated. Let’s continue what we have. This man must be crazy to think she would be comforatble being his mistress.

Why are men so freaking selfish. Just going around lying and hurting people. Let’s not even discuss the health risk, when you’re sleeping around with multiple partners and your partners are sleeping with multiple partners. This shows the lack of respect that he has for his marriage and his wife.

What’s even sadder is his amazing, well educated, well-accomplished wife doesn’t know who he really is. This man has a secret life where he is taking other women on trips with their money and sleeping with them. He is putting his family at risk, and I wonder is it really worth the thrill.

I’m shocked that it took my girl this long to google this man. These days, that’s the first thing you do.

Please note: I received her permission to blog about her experience.

Missing my Mommy!

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7-18-2008Screenshot_2015-05-08-07-59-46 was the hardest day of my life and now 7-18 any year has become difficult for me to deal with. It was the day my mom passed away. I will never forget that phone call, that moment, that feeling, the hurt, pain, and devastation I felt. This year, I vowed that I was going to celebrate my mom in a way that didn’t make me feel overwhelmed with sadness, but to celebrate the love we shared, the bond we had, and memories we made.

So on 7/18/2015, I stayed busy, spent time with friends and enjoyed myself, but 7/19/2015 was the worst. I was sad, crying, everything reminded me of her, everything hurt my feelings. I don’t know how to stop hurting, they say it gets easiBaby Ber to deal with over time, but 7 years later and it feels the same.I love my mom so much and miss her dearly. I miss loving her and her loving me. I was pregnant with my daughter when I lost my mom, it makes me love my daughter even more. I’m grateful to my creator for blessing me with a mom, who thought my light was brighter than the sun, she was my number 1 fan, and I am forever grateful for everything we went through together, it prepared me for a tough world.

Rest in Peace Mommy! I love and miss you with everything in me!

So, I tried a new barber………Barber Chronicles…….the Struggle

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So, I’ve been asking people about barbers, and it seems as if no one in my immediate circle goes to a barber on a consistent basis. A co-worker of mine referred his father to me, but when I called him he seemed a bit aggressive. After our first conversation, I thought to myself I’ll pass.
I didn’t want to drive all the way to Richmond to see my previous barber, so I decided to just test one out. I found a small barbershop near my house. I wanted my hair cut on a Thursday, so I went in on Wednesday to check out the place. The place was packed and everyone had a client in their chair but the guy in the front. (note: I would not take the barber in the front of the shop with no clients.) As soon as I walked in, everyone smiled, greeted me and made me feel welcomed. I just walked to the man who I seemed to have made eye contact with first, and his name was ED. I looked a mess to in my gym clothes and feeling tired from my workout. He first tried to have me sit in the barber’s chair that I was avoiding and I said no. He then asked me when I wanted my haircut, and to take his number down and let him know when I wanted to come in.
As soon as I got home I sent him a very professional text letting him know the date and time I wanted my hair cut. He proceeded to ask me “what’s up with the purple hair”, first off bra, that’s not good customer service, but my co-worker said I can’t be sensitive with this hair cut…LOL, so I let it slide. I went and got my hair cut the next day, and was dolled up. I didn’t want to go in looking a mess two days in a row with all these handsome men around….LOL. I was turned off by the smoking section in the front…..(gross)….I can’t stand people smoking in public places, but I was there so I went in. I sat in his chair and he was very nice and pleasant. He asked me a few questions about what I wanted and a few questions about life while other barbers chimed in. It was cool.
Once he was done, I was satisfied. Not excited, but not disappointed. After getting home, I started getting all these text messages from him. He felt the need to tell me how great I looked without make-up, but how I know how to not do too much with the makeup. He even requested I send him pictures of myself after I sponge roll my hair. I was like damn dude. Did you really just try and push up on me. I just want to get a good haircut and mind my business. Now I’m scared to tell him I’m not interested, because I don’t want him to mess up my hair, but I don’t want him to think that he has action at anything with me. The struggle is real……I’m going to continue my search in finding a good barber in the Bay.

Brunching in the Bay: San Leandro Edition, Paradiso

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On Sunday of this past week, I had the pleasure of having brunch with two really amazing women! Both of whom inspire me! We decided to have brunch at one of our favorite spots, PARADISO, and they NEVER disappoint. The service was A-1, the food was great, and the overall experience was great!

I arrived first and walked-in to a host with a big smile and welcoming attitude. I let her know, we would be a party of 3 and what table we preferred. She reserved our table, and I went outside to soak up the sun.

After my girl C-C arrived, we went and sat down and began to chat and wait for the third member of our party. As soon as we got comfortable the waitress was there asking us for our drink order, we ordered tea, she brought the tea and water.

After the third member of our party arrived, we ordered our brunch and an appetizer to share. For our appetizer we shared the DUNGENSS CRAB & AVOCADO, it is the best thing on EARTH. The flavors just dance in your mouth, it’s truly superb. Anyone who has ever been to Paradiso has tried this dish. It is unique to their restaurant and its fresh and healthy.

My main course was the DUNGENESS CRAB OMELET with egg whites, sub the potatoes for fruit. I enjoyed my entree, but it was not as flavorful as the appetizer.

We sat, talked, laughed, sipped, bounced business ideas off of each other, gave relationship advice, and enjoyed our time with each other. I appreciate having genuine relationships with intelligent, ambitious, people who like to have fun with its time, and get stuff done when its time. I’m very grateful that the universe has brought these two into my life.